I once babysat for our next door neighbors. The oldest daughter was away and I was asked to fill in. Winter was coming, and living near the ocean the air was chilly and damp. That's not a nice combo.
The mother of the family I was set to babysit was strange to say the least. She was always whining about something. Literally whining. She and her husband had three daughters and a constantly barking chihuahua. The oldest daughter was responsible but quiet, the middle daughter was more vocal who always seemed on the receiving end of a set down from her mother, and the youngest was a typical spoiled brat.
Narcissists always have a favorite child and if they have more than one, then there's going to be an "unfavorite." And if they have more than two children, they have an invisible child--the one who goes unnoticed, neglected, shunned.
I didn't know much about the dynamics of their home other than the mother was a whiny woman who couldn't mind her own business. The husband/father (as it came to light later) had some mental health issues, possibly a nervous breakdown, and then received a promotion with his government job. I have no idea how something like that happens, but I digress.
As I was saying, I didn't know what went on next door because I'd never entered their home before that evening. When I did, I was shocked.
After studying narcissists for a few years and their behavior, I understand the situation now, but I didn't back then.
The middle daughter was very friendly, well-mannered, intelligent, but also a note of resentment in her voice. I don't remember how old she was, but if I was babysitting, she couldn't have been older than eleven.
She gave me a tour of her bedroom, but I think it was subliminally a cry for help. On her bed was a full-body cast. Apparently the girl suffered with rhumatoid arthritis and was usually in a lot of pain. I'm sure the damp coastal weather didn't help.
My heart broke when I saw that body cast. The child had to sleep in that cast every night. I'd never heard of such a thing before.
As the evening progressed, I noticed it was chilly in the house and I turned the thermostat up. No one told me I couldn't. Ironically, it's something I'd never done while babysitting, so it must have been very cold in the house.
The next day, the whiny mother next door called and complained to my mum about me adjusting the thermostat. Because it gave her a migraine.
There was no mention of her middle daughter's physical health. In fact, she'd never once said anything about her daughter's medical issues and pain. I never forgot how the mother made it all about herself and not her daughter.
Looking back now I recognize the woman's behavior as being narcissistic. The middle daughter had an autoimmune disease. I don't know what happened to the middle daughter as we lost touch when my family moved, but I think of her once in a while.
The whiny mother was a sort of joke in the neighborhood, but it's not a laughing matter. A narcissist will sacrifice their child's comfort for their own.
If you're involved with a narcissist or person with narcissistic behavior, you need to talk to someone, get professional help. The narcissist will never change. They'll sacrifice your health every single time for their own. You have to ask yourself if they're worth your health--mental, emotional, and physical.
